Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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mikey is cute

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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