Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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so...um, yeah

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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knock knock whos their a person

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops