The bears will win the Super Bowl

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What is funnier than 24 69

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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