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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Hi

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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25

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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