A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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it's funny because it's funny

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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penis

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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