How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Joesph Triphook.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Asians.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops