two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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