Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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