What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you just read an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How's the weather? Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops