Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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