"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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