Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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How High is a Chinese man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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