whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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This isn't funny.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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