A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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