how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -2

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Good to see you today!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops