What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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