How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

Double-whammy

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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