How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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hi mom

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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