While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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hi mom

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Your text.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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