What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

SUCK MY NUTS

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

if you are reading this your wasting your time

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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