What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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NASCAR

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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The dewey decimal system

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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