How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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