why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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