What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

womans having rights.

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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