- Anti Joke

Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" pewpew

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.