A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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Corn Muffins

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops