Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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I agree

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are u black unlucky

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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Women can vote? wtf

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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