Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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