What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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