A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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