What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Black People

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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punchline below punchline above

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops