What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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your face is kinda funny

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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