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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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