What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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