Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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matt is fat

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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