What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

Oh, go away

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...