Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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j

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops