my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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