Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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Nick Cannon

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Mooses

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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