A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops