So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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