How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Legal Mexicans in Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops