A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops