Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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How High is a Chinese man

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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