How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Here's a joke for you, my life...

Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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