What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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