Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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i found waldo.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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