Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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your life

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

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robin, get in the car.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops