What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

AIDS

I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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