What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +21

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I like touching my boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is square and grey? A grey square.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops