Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops