A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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so...um, yeah

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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One, two, three, four and five

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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