What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

yeyeyeyeye live action

what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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