Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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You're a frog

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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